I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
