I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
