My first STD was from a foam party
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
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