Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
