so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
