i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
