She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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