WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
