Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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