I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
