you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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