Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
