Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
