i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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