this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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