R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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