i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
