Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
i wish my penis had a tongue
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
