He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
