hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
