I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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