STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
