TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
