I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Randomize
