sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I just gargled with NyQuil
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
