Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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