i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Randomize
