That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
