She announced her abortion via fbk
It's just like the Real World with babies
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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