love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
