is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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