halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I currently don't understand fingers.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
