So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
there is glitter all over my balls
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
