Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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