Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
