Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
