they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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