i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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