Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
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