I just made out with a guy for $7.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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