Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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