Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Randomize
