Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
