He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
