Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
