hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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