just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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