I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
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