Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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