Christians are straight up FREAKS
a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
