She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
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