She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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