Me too!
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Randomize
