dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Randomize
