I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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