it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
